1 Phone Call

1 phone call was enough to drag me out from my life and leap back to the past. The past that i want to forget and never look back. Enough to make my life crumble once again, shead my tears once again. Never realise that I still carry that wound. Never realise that the scar is too deep and the wound still bleeding and never completely cured and healed.

1 phone call, only one that I fear most and somehow I know that it will happen and I deny it all this time. And it happened. All the walls surround me fallen apart and my life falling into pieces once again. Once again I have to collect my life and build it again from the scratch. Now I really lost it and I'm not sure how I will do it.

Just want to dissapear from everything, from my existence in this world. Just want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep until 'he' come and wake me up. I am just too tired and too weak now. I can't even put my heads up or knock my head. Maybe flying high up in the sky and just fly fly fly will be nice.

My life is shattered and I don't know how to build it up again. Once I can. 2 times is enough. In the moment where I want to reach the sky again, 1 phone call crashed me down to the earth again.

I've hidden it so well all this time. I think it's like a time bomb, will blow up one day. I didn't want to remember or to open or to look back. Just forget it and let go and live my life. And it was working well until yesterday, BOOMMMMM!!!!! It happened. The crack was open, making it much bigger from before. And now it will be so very hard to fix it.